Let's Put It To A Vote

During the summer's, for some reason, I like to do something different with my facial hair. I once tried to grow out my goatee as long as I could (inspired by christian music artist Charlie Hall, pictured to the right). Also, I joined the Astros in a playoff beard grown while they were in the playoffs. Change is good. I have had a goatee since I graduated college, and sometimes, I just need change. So, I thought it might be fun (more for you!) to put up a vote for this summer's FHC (facial hair contest). Also, whatever wins, I would love to be joined by any other men(sorry ladies) that would like to join me in this feat. So, without further ado, here are this summer's choices:

The Soul Patch (illustrated by TobyMac)
The soul patch says, "There's something deep inside, but you have to know me before I let you see the real me." It's a hidden mystery what is behind that soul patch, but you know that its something special.

The Chinstrap (aka the Chin Curtain)

The chinstrap beard says, "Check out my jawline. I'm strong and powerful. Don't mess with me." The only downside of the chinstrap is that it makes fat guys faces look fatter, trust me I know from experience. The chinstrap is the new full beard. It likes to keep things looking good, clean, and trim. It is worn mostly by hip hop artists.

The Fu Manchu (worn wonderfully by John Rich)
The Fu Manchu is a wonderful tool of fear. This must have started way back in the old school kung fu movie days, because all the scary guys who can beat you up with martial arts wear it. The Fu Manchu is worn by flat out scary people. It casts fear. It sends a message. Yet, at the same time the upside down U says, "I am really a nice guy and I can sing country music. Also, I look good on a horse or motorcycle."

Mutton Chops
The mutton chop was made famous by generals in the Civil War, but worn beautifully and majestically by the King - Elvis Presley. As you can see, one needs to have the accommodating flowing hair to make the ensemble complete, but it can be worn other ways. Mutton chops say, "I am a wonderful looking man, yet I am too scared to have hair all the way across my cheeks."

Full Beard (illustrated by Charles Spurgeon)
The full beard takes perseverance. When growing one out, one will be tempted to give up, to shave it off, to give up on the itchiness. But a real man will bear the pain. He will stand strong. He is intelligent. He's not worried if food gets caught in there. The beard keeps the man warm, keeps predators away, and shows strength and intelligence. The full beard says, "I am a manly man. I can do anything I want. I am smart. I will stay warm." (see also Sean Connery)

Not Making The List:

The Neck Beard
The neck beards were worn by a special group of young men when I was in college. They liked to wear sweats and polo shirts, play nerf wars with the Jesus statue, as well as other made up fantasy games. Because of these repressed feelings, the neck beard will not be allowed. Sorry.

The Standalone Mustache
This facial hair will not be available. Michelle does not allow it, so case closed. Sorry fire fighters and Chicago policemen, it's not happening this year!

So cast your vote and cast it with thought. Remember, you will be the one looking at it for a while so choose wisely. I can avoid mirrors if I have to. Have fun and happy voting!